What a time to have child.
When I first started sharing my journey with you during my pregnancy, I admit, writing my experiences came pretty damn easy. The journey of pregnancy was totally blog-worthy, believe that. When Liam was born, I came to a crossroad. Should I continue my blog? My blog had started out funny, crass and sassy because it was an actual reflection of what I was feeling and saying everyday. What was I going to write about now that journey had ended? Of course, my journey had just begun, technically. But I didn’t want my blog to become a day-by-day account of what Liam or myself did or didn’t do. “Today I put on one of Liam’s new onesies and it actually fit! No more newborn size!”, or “Today, Liam took a shit the size of the United States of America! This one’s looking like a 6-wiper!”.
Yeah, that was not what my blog was to become.
As time went along, I realised that I could maintain the pace and style of my blog while still sharing my experiences as a mother, although it doesn’t come nearly as easy. But then it comes to serious blog entries such as this and I hope that what I share with you can make a change or have some impact on other mothers out there who may be feeling what I’m feeling but may not have a platform where they feel they can share their thoughts.
In my first entry, “What the Bump?” I expressed reasons for why having my own children weren’t exactly in my life plan. However, there was a little more to it. With all of the corruption, crime and hatred going on in the world, bringing an innocent little baby into all of it was a frightening thought. Back in the day, (I’m assuming), I imagine the least anticipated conversations of parenthood was the “birds and bees”. If only that was all I had to look forward to; I would welcome it with open arms. But, no. The “birds and bees” conversation is going to be the least of my worries as Liam grows older and becomes more aware. I anticipate when I’ll have to explain to Liam there is nothing wrong with his skin colour, that he has gorgeous skin and is beautiful just the way he is. I anticipate answering his questions about two men or women kissing, letting him know that they kiss because they love each other and it’s perfectly okay if he ever feels like he wants to kiss boys instead of girls, if it were ever to come to that, because love is love. I expect, for some, the thought of such a conversation while staring into the innocent, angelic face of a baby may be cringe-worthy. However, I would feel much more comfortable if he learns about these things from me than out in the world or at school.
Especially at school. Have you heard the things that come out of the mouth of a three year old these days?
It can be frustrating as a parent when you envision how you want raise your child and then the reality hits you that how they’re raised is not about what you desire but about their safety and protection. I never wanted to have the “colour, race” conversation with Liam; I wanted him to be raised to not see differences in people based on colour, like I was raised. But society has other plans when it comes to life lessons. And my vow to not raise Liam in a giant bubble includes preparing him for the harsh world out there, while remaining careful not to scare him out of leaving the nest.
As if it doesn’t get hard enough, there’s also the dilemma of how much is too much? While we want to prepare them for the battle of life coming their way, we don’t want to risk corrupting them either. Recently, I read a post about a celebrity who tweets some of the things her seven-year-old daughter says on a daily basis, and while some found it amusing, some expressed their disbelief in some of what she was saying. Not quite the one to take things so seriously, I took a lot of what she was saying humorously, although the content of her statements such as weed, sex and watching The Kardashians were quite alarming. So how do we discuss things with our children safely? Especially things they’re going to find out about either way, and probably not in the best way?
I’ve decided to take it as it comes in stride. The world is ever-changing and with it, so will Liam’s life discoveries. I will prepare myself to be as open and as honest I possibly and necessarily can so that he can become a cognizant adolescent.
After all, our children are the future.